Insanity at the Bar
by Dark Hikari Twilight
Summary: It may seem like I was really drunk when I wrote this XD The FF guys get together at a bar and everything goes nuts. I just wanted some humor in mai life. R for alcohol use and sexual innuendoes One-Shot


FF7 Boyband! Cloud Cid Vincent Sephiroth and Reno Ok this is comedy or insanity or both you decide! Ok I wanted to do something stupid to balance out my page ^_^ anyway some Yaoi but its all humor so. Reviews of all kinds welcome! Good Comment so-so and even flames! (at least for this story XD) Just remember I'm not the best at humor lol.   
  
Ok this a shot a humor on my part   
  
* Hears the crickets *  
  
Ok ok.....so maybe I don't write humor all that well but hey its worth a shot....  
  
It was late on a Saturday night at Crimson's Bar  
  
*Off stage voice * "SCARLET IDIOT AND TIFA OWNED THE BAR!"  
  
I don't care! I'm the writer and I say Maroon or what ever her name is owns a bar now!  
  
*Off stage voice * "Well you don't have to yell at me...."   
  
Ok back to our story It was late on a Friday night at Ruby's bar.  
  
*Off stage voice * "You just said Saturday....."   
  
WHO'S FREAKING STORY IS THIS!  
  
*Off stage voice * "Well I'm just trying to help.....  
  
Ok if I don't get any further interruptions , it was late on a Friday night at Rose's Bar.  
  
*Off stage voice * .............  
  
  
Cloud, Vincent and Cid were all at a bar drinking and having a good time.  
  
*Off stage voice * Where the hell are Barret Tifa Reeve Nanaki and Yuffie?  
  
DAMNIT WILL YOU SHUT UP! THEY AREN'T IN THIS STORY!  
  
*Off stage voice * Gwah I know someone who's PMSing  
  
I HEARD THAT!   
  
Ok now Cloud Vincent and Cid were almost completely drunk and laughing at the stupidest jokes that each other would tell.   
  
"And so she said 'Bell'" said Cid who could barely contain himself as the other two almost fell out of their seats.  
  
"God Cid you are a funny man." Said Vincent placing his claw hand on Cid's shoulder.  
  
"OOO do you see that! It's a Karaoke machine! I love those things!" squealed Cloud with absolute delight.  
  
Cloud jumped out of his seat and runs on stage, knocking a elderly lady singing "I Left my Heart in San Francisco."   
  
"I wonder OOOOOOO." Said Cloud going through the list.  
  
"Hey guys its I want it that way. Damn to bad it's a five part harmony." Said Cloud.  
  
"Who gives a damn its Karaoke." Said Cid.  
  
"I do, I happen to take my singing seriously." Said Cloud.  
  
"Oh yes he has a great voice." Said Sephiroth.  
  
"What where the hell did you come from." Yelled Vincent.  
  
I STUCK HIM IN THE STORY NOW LIVE WITH IT.  
  
*Offstage voice * "How did he come back to life.  
  
I DON'T CARE ITS MY STORY. *zaps offstage voice with a bolt of lightning then smiles. *  
  
"I'll sing with you." Said Reno.  
  
*everyone falls over. *   
  
"Now how did you get here." Said Cloud.  
  
"I got this note from Dark Hikari Kamiya saying if I wasn't here at this time to sing I wasn't going to like the consequences. You know what that woman can do......." Said Reno.  
  
"Yah she's more insane then mother." Said Sephiroth.  
  
I HEARD THAT *zaps Sephiroth with lightning. *  
  
"She.zzzz...is..zzzzz..a very...zzzzz.sane....zzzz.person." said Sephiroth.  
  
Thank you. Now on with it. Skip the crap Sephiroth Cloud and Vincent Cid and Reno get on stage and sing for me.  
  
With little restance they all get on stage.   
  
"What do you want us to sing dear Queen?" said Cloud with a bow  
  
"Hmm your suppose to be a boy band but I've grown of the phase where I enjoy their music. How about Insatiable by Darren Hayes"  
  
*Group smiles and nods for their own personal safety. They start singing much to writers enjoyment *   
  
"Mmmhmmm I would love to be able to do it enough to call it practice. Hey Sephiroth wanna come over to my place?"   
  
"WHAT?!! I'm not a sex slave." Said Sephiroth  
  
Y-Y  
  
"Yes you are you're my sex slave!" yelled Cloud then placing his hands over his mouth  
  
Sephiroth *-_-; *  
  
"Sorry" said Cloud  
  
"You will pay later." Said Sephiroth  
  
"Ooo sounds kinky can I join."  
  
"NO!" said Sephiroth.  
  
"You and him." Said Vincent moving his finger back and forth between the too.  
  
*Offstage Voice * I KNEW IT!  
  
"Damn have to mark one of my life's goals off the list." Mumbled Vincent.  
  
"What!?!" said Cid droping his cigarette  
  
"Goal number 3 bed Cloud. And seems number 4 is gone too Damn." Said Vicent.  
  
"What the hell I don't even wanna know." Said Cid moving away from Vincent.  
  
"Yeh Reno you up for some." *Smile *  
  
"Uh I've gotta go me Rude somewhere." Said Reno running off.  
  
"For crying out loud is Cid the only straight guy here?"   
  
*Offstage Voice * I'M STRAIGT.  
  
"Whats so wrong with me?" said Cid  
  
"You way too old. Old enough to be my grandfather.'   
  
*Cid mumbles and walks away. *  
  
*Offstage Voice * I'm STRAIGHT!  
  
"Who the hell are you?"   
  
*Rufus steps on stage. *  
  
"OOO Ruf I almost forgot about you. Sorry" *smile *  
  
*Looks over and sees Cloud and Sephiroth making out. *  
  
"Everyone does it seems........" said Rufus  
  
*Looks over and sees Cloud and Sephiroth in nothing but Boxers and losing them quickly*  
  
"Its just not right."   
  
"What?" said Rufus  
  
"That those two are together I mean share the love!"   
  
*Reno grabs breast, then immediately gets knocked into a wall. *  
  
"I'm not a slut"   
  
"I though you wanted some." Said Reno sitting up. *Passes out*  
  
"I just wanted some ice cream and Sephiroth Cloud we are in a bar leave your clothing on!" *Zaps them with lightning *  
  
"Cloud....zzz...why....did you....zzz... give...zzzzz.her...zzzzz.that...zzz ...Mas. .zzz.ter... .Materia...." said Sephiroth  
  
  
"I...zzz..don't...zzzzz.know" said Cloud  
  
"Because you love me Cloudy Boy and Sephy Pooh." *smile *  
  
*Walks up to the karaoke machine and puts on "May it Be" to sing. *  
  
"What does that have to do with anything? " said Vincent who yes is still in the room.  
  
"I like the song" *Zap *  
  
*Vincent falls to floor dead. *  
  
CRAP!  
  
"OMG you killed Vincent!!!!" yelled Cloud  
  
Musta been him metal claw....super effective you know....  
  
*Everything freezes in place *  
  
*Now fully clothed Cloud and Sephiroth turn and bow *  
  
"The events you have just witnessed are the worst of an insane woman "  
  
"Please if you a Bioshonen don't attempt to help us as Dark Hikari will most likely capture you and put you in a similar if not worse situation. I repeat no fellow Bioshonen help. Any one else would probably die in the process as well." Said Cloud.  
  
"We are not really involved just DHK's twisted work. But I will endure it. *Gazes at Sephiroth with hungry eyes.* "  
  
"We um just want to say ah heck. " *pounces Cloud and starts to strip him as the lights go out. *  
  
  
Ok ok that was truly insane but hope It was vaguely funny. Everything I write is dark and twisted so I wanted to write something funny and twisted XD. I think its just lame but eh. If your gonna flame a story of mine do it on this one. It wont hurt mai feelings here XD 


End file.
